Usually I just use this blog to share these rants with my closer allies in Facebook land. In this instance I am sharing some videos by Piratek, Apocalypse Theatre & The Revolution Circus who also share this website as it clumsily finds its way. (yes its a maze and we are working on it) Anyway. What you may ask is PIRATEK?  The Pirateks are a group of us geeks and nerds, freaks and autonomous mutants who meddle in multimedia (coding, adobe suite, DAWs and video editing to name a few) and also have a hand in various real time skills from DJ/VJ set ups, screen printing, cooking, BBQ set ups, botany, electronics and auto mechanics just to name a few. Maybe your not financially loaded and want to trade or you are and you want to support something that colors the fringes of your world… Anything is possible and if we can’t do i we might know someone who can..from tweaking computers to hosting your party…or maybe your vehicle needs a flame thrower welded onto it…WE need each other to survive so lets trade, share and explore the fringes and artistic extremes of our underground.

I know you… and you and you…. and I remember Ohio & Waco, OKC Bombings & The Riots in Seattle…even 9/11 and lets not forget the King riots part 1 and part 2, the
Philadelphia MOVE event, NYC Tompkins square park riots, the 1st and 2nd events @ Wounded Knee, the mass shootings, serial killer sprees, starving & bloated children’s bellies, oil spills and raging wars and aaaaagh…..sooo very many to save memory space for…all of which have several sides to tell and are the stuff of legends both good and bad- be it our governments fault which is made up of us and “them”, or the organized militias which is made up of us & “them” or whatever powers that be that we call “them” and never forget the lone wolves gone mad who are also us and tear down the sandcastle we spent weeks united to build and just destroy or “kill em all” for no reason really other than they got mental after we probably ignored “them”  warning signs and then they leave us in shock……and always the aftermath…as if scripted… before the
dust settles…we point fingers…

Now, personally and with a humble streak- I think we keep missing the point as we point them fingers. I think we are all to blame. You and me. With all our toys that just make it easier and easier to stalk, terrorize, maim, kill, as we keep falling into the new normal trap or falling back on our toy guns and robot thingies for comfort..But thats just me. I like toys too…….. But sometimes it seems as if now is the only thing that is real and yesterday is for whiners and losers but its CONNECTED!…And it seems the disintegration of cities no longer resonates and who even really remembers Bhopal? What the hell is a “smart bomb?” Why is everyone talking to their pockets and the devices we all carry that now remind us we are all connected but not in the way we probably “imagined.” Google this and 4 square my ass to the corner store and how about that MEME. Lets video tape the live event on our devices/toys instead of actually experiencing/watching it…hehehe LOL. FML.

Who remembers having a friend stop by to see how things are or just to say ” I missed you or may I borrow some sugar/salt/milk for the kids?” Without f’ing texting because maybe they don’t have a cell phone or they lost power or whatever…. CALL ME CRAZY!!! and NOW that behavior is considered “WRONG” “RUDE” “SCARY”… Now, Its not who wants to get the door? Its who the fuck is at the door?!
What happened to us..are we “them”?
Why are we all so disconnected, sad, scared, mad, lonely, tired…I look around and it seems so simple but I am told it is not..again and again by my peers or the words on Facebook… I try to resist but the push-back is real…I mean, is it really that hard to just “come together” and share our resources and stand up for something. Are we so fragile that a disturbance in the force is as simple as a knock @ the door- we were not expecting? Are we that weak?

I am told that I am dreamer and its clear I’m not the only one…but I’m gettign tired of all the blocks and walls and barricades we are putting up to make it ever so much more difficult to do the simple little things that used to be so pure and true…As the tidal wave of lies in the form of facts flood the interwebs..and spiders that lurk like trolls distract every thread that begins to matter and turns them toward petty comforts and the promise of more blood and darkness…… but Ohio… I remember Ohio.

I also remember you. I really do. Even though we never really knew each other when we stood our ground that last time in a moment online or in real time…We were standing for each other. I think maybe its time to do that again and again and again. We don’t need toys but maybe sometimes the toys will bring us together.
I know maybe I was just a worm, a toddler, a child, a teenager, a young adult, 30 something 40 something or just a bystander when Ohio was the headline of the day but that was then and this is now and its connected… I know you know I know its about the freedom we seek and nothing comes without sacrifice…

Maybe its because we are all living in this helter skelter submarine & maybe its because Ohio mattered just as much as the famines in Africa, the killing fields and the chemical clouds over Kurdistan or that homeless guy on the corner who everyone thinks is scamming them but has actually had his spirit broken and really needs our help…This all deserves to be a part of our fabric until we wake up and do something together that matters… As simple as growing the most inspiring rooftop garden in your city and sharing your crops in a huge block party BBQ and lets invite the local artists and musicians or a traveling caravan that brings song and dance to your parks and neighborhoods…YES! Maybe its you and your friends making a movie that the family/community can laugh and cry and shout out at while eating popcorn for a price that is not out of reach and walk away inspired, happy, together… Plan a local field trip to someplace out of town or into town..with your neighbors on a bus you all pitched in for and planned together. Make a poster and put it up and let everyone know its time to start talkign about making life more exzciting interesting and unite over these things so that you know who has your back if and when the shit hits the fan.
Think about talking to that homeless guy with the sign and just seeing if there is anything you can really do. Maybe that $10 will go towards beer but maybe not. Maybe hire him to clean your block with a collective fund that actually raises enough money to get him a bus to that place he thought he could never get back to.  Or maybe don’t look away and just…just smile.
Yes, change is dangerous but doing nothing = something worse. Call me naive. I don’t care. That is…unless you just want to hide in your box and wait for a savior, or pretend you are above it all. I guess you can do that if it suits you but you will grow up/old/out of touch with everything but your poisins foods, drinks, computer, television and your mind will die before you die in body…unhealthy and alone… not a good plan but its your to make unless the shit hits the fan, then you either be forced to take sides or you will just die.
But I’m not talking to you. Not this time. You didn’t even read this far. I am talking to YOU. Yes. I am guessing that you are the savior. You are the voice that breaks the silence and helps stop this cycle of hate. You are the forgotten messiah. You are who I am talking to. Never too old or too young. You are the answer. Your the missing link. Help us. Your not alone.
..

“I could scream and I scream again and in cyber space and usually it seems…that no one can or wants to hear you SCREAM…nope. Not really. Usually in cyberspace they have shit that matters a hell of lot more than freedom unless freedoms just another word for nothing left to lose.. and baby…yikes. look what you inspired”
~V. Mercy

Me and a troupe of misfit nomadic kindred are dreaming and conspiring with kindred in the Detroit MI wastelands to fortify a large parking area and then help upgrade the tech and construction at a medium box store sized compound/warehouse where we will be rehearsing and residing in March before touring. If this alliance draws itself out in a favorable manner- Who knows, maybe after this 2nd short residency we will be building our caravan fleet in Detroit (either through trade and investment with this motor city alliance or in our own theater/warehouse living space.)
Just imagine a small caravan with a food truck, art cars/vans, trailers, tents and generators with a place that can construct, store and repair them. Eventually we can make money from art shows, video shoots, regional food truck buisness and other means too.

So, after we try out this urban wasteland compound for size/spirit with the crew that runs the place, we may be making a cast and crew call on a larger scale for: nomadic auto & computer pirateks, artists and architects, designers, painters and cooks etc…
Those few of us who have committed ourselves to the point of giving up our security can’t do this alone and albeit- everyone does not need to be as intensely involved, even your presence in the conversation online is a valuable commodity and helps moral.
Plus any role will help make us stronger: Simply sharing our FB post to donating (no amount too small) to our cause on our website www.revolutioncircus.com  or helping us with intel and promotion in regional areas will make this happen.

With that said: We are currently seeking to strengthen the center/core of our the caravan with that breed of mad max and gypsy kindred who are interested in living on the front lines, traveling 5-8 months out of a year or holding down a fort where the traveling segment can stop when there is time off to rest, rebuild, repair and cook. Such allies and their strongholds will become recipients of monetary support once we achieve self sustainability.

So please consider supporting us so that one day there is a caravan out there waving a flag that you can get behind and please please please spread the word, share our pages, our donation links, blogs, videos and point us towards venues, scenes, festivals, block parties and underground events. Lead us to potential talented and skilled misfits and allies who might make good gypsies or have the capacity to invest in us. Tell them about us. Please, because we really are in this together. So if you choose to follow, support, or run away with us however you partake…your role helps  make the caravan a reality.

We are going to try and take this to a new level in 2013 so that 2014 is our coming of age year.  But this is a hard and expensive struggle. We need to expand our merchandising and upgrade our vehicles. We need to average much more a day to survive and not self destruct so that our fleet gets to drink fuel and we get to eat “minimal sustenance”. We work and perform nearly every night and we love it but after 5-6 days it would be nice to have better food to maintain our health. We averaged “albeit” through draining our own accounts and donations plus a fluctuating income generated from events that averaged 200.00 a night we foresee the downward spiral if don’t find investors who believe in us and enable us to grow, extend the routes and build up the buzz without crashing and burning. We don’t even need very much and while we push forward we will try out the kickstarter trend in the near future to raise more funds to build the warehouse up. Anyway- From what I have seen on our good event nights this thing could be worth 10 times more a day with just a little push. A push that would come with a reward to those who stepped up.
So in other news- On the human front: Besides the pressing need of a dedicated drummer/rhythm section, we need stage techs (lighting, props and sound), allies that can build and maintain servers. Security, Cooks and landscapers. We always need more musicians & dancers entertainers but having other skills is a plus. We always appreciate photographers and writers to help promote.
We need more of you to reach out from where-ever you are to tell us about why this has peaked your curiosity and contact us. Share your thoughts. Please. revolutioncircus@gmail.com

Joining us is as simple as following our quest and lending us your stories and opinions. Lets put this 21st century caravan on the road on-stop like a real circus caravan. www.revolutioncircus.com. If you can help us survive these early years in whatever manner we won’t forget you.

We do have a plan and we are aiming for 2013/2014 to be fully operational & self sufficient so we can take care of business which basically means: upgrading the fleet, supporting our charities, our families and you “The Allies” that helped us along the way.

Viva la caravana revolución

contact us: revolutioncircus@gmail.com   www.revolutioncircus.com  612-209-1835

Today, I began 2013. Yes, the struggle continues.

First, I had to drag my sick and misery stricken body out of the house at 8am to jump start our van which was choking in the sub zero temperatures. “click click click” the starter spat while I breathed out freezing cold  carbon dioxide. Unfortunately for me Plan A; The other room mates car wouldn’t start either. Really!?
I had to just smile as I thought to myself. “I see how 2013 is going to be. Just as hard as 2012″  So after a half hour of frostbite and neighborly love, both vehicles were resurrected and the long check list commenced:

• Contacting the first wave of allies and friends who I need to discuss & plot the next 6 months with. I spent 3 hours on that task alone.

• A final edit for DIY low-fi Twin City cable TV show MRTC and then uploading it to Blip for its producer.Then some promoting for this Friday’s show that features Mommy Sez No.
• followed by some heart felt correspondence with friends and finally.

• A trip downtown and to the market as the the sickness and fever kicked back in

When I returned home I reverted to chef mode and made an appetizer of Sushi Rice with
Jumbo Shrimp seasoned with a splatter of soy sauce and a dab of wasabi which was followed by a baked Organic Butternut Squash that I blackened in olive oil topped with brown sugar and sea salt crystals. (drum roll please) For the finale: 3 Bean, 3 Cheese Vegetarian Chili with vegetable protein & organic sour cream topped with chopped spring onions.( I may have made enough of that to feed a circus.)
Kat made some delicious Mimosa’s and “ta-da” we were set. “Bon Appetit!”

At that point I was feeling better but now I am treading lightly on the road to delirium because in my over confidence I knocked over the big glass baking bowl and shattered it. (Kat kept the animals out of the kitchen while I cleaned & searched for shards of glass.) Maybe it stressed me out a little cause I felt a little beaten after that.

I ALMOST FORGOT!!!!
I think my biggest success today occurred while browsing the internet after dinner.
I finally found the author (Albert Camus) who scribed a quote about winter that I referenced/mutated/reinvented in one my wordy blogging scribbles. So now I think I know what book I might have to read next. Its called The Rebel. Yeah, sure I will…If I have the time.. Cause Its 2013 and I have a caravan to build with you and my friends and its getting late and I need to call some friends and family and then rest..

But lets make plans and run away together!
Seriously.
If you get homesick you can always return to your nest but if you help us and support us you will always know that The Caravan you helped make real is still out there struggling fighting surviving & running with the pack as it rolls down the underground highways with a life of its own searching for the rest of us.

www.revolutioncircus.com

Hi, I am V. Mercy of Apocalypse Theatre and The Revolution Circus and I want to wish all of you who have been supporting the RC by cheering us on, donating funds, and coming out to The Revolution Circus events- The happiest & best future possible.

2013 is almost upon us and I hope we can keep building this crazy dream for you and hopefully, literally with you. You see, the way a team plays as a whole determines its success. You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, but if they don’t play together, they won’t be worth a dime.

I get in trouble with my friends who swim in more hardcore movements who don’t like me using that word (revolution) but I explain “what is change without all stripes of people? WE are building a community of musicians and artists, mechanics and cooks, (to name a few labels) and technical wizards. 0110011001110101CK! Really? Why all these lines and labels!

You can talk revolt, march and stand your ground. Go ahead, pick your battles and I might be there right along side of you for some of them, but if we don’t have time to simply celebrate the little things I believe we will lose the struggle. That is of course my opinion, and there are many bonfire nights waiting for healthy passionate debates where our vast differences can be stirred up and the gloves are off when its me & you debating or us and “them“  Another label I question..Who the hell are “them?  I think its us. (or giant ants)

Point blank. This thing we are building is not a militia. Its autonomous projects & talent made up of friends and future alliances. Its main strength will be that it can be mobile and eventually self sufficient. A caravan that will protect itself with a ferocity mined from the love (and what better cause to stand for and die for) So maybe (my opinion) lets not start off with scary posturing. ( We are scary without trying) Now I’m not subscribing to naivete but personally, I want the mainstream to be curious and not feel as if we are against them. In many cases we are not. They are us and we are them. I want the giant ants to check us out. I know that seems crazy  but why should we label everything and everyone to such a sweeping degree that we don’t see the trees for the forest. Allies across “them” lines exist.

So…Yes, Its a big goal. But its the one I chose to fight for and I personally have been working and training towards this all my life. After at least 100 rock and roll tours and home bases in a dozen cities and several countries, I have decided to keep fighting for this ever evolving dream. So please, please, remember! This is not about a band. This is caravan. Its membership will always be fluid as we navigate leadership and roles within our core in the hopes it will live on beyond us. I guess what you see now representing this autonomous alliance is only the beginning.
This is a lifestyle and we are the front lines struggling with you for it to reach its full potential.

! Viva el caravana revolución !

As the first waves of an early winter threatens us with one of the longest winter you/me/we have ever known. Lets remember that within us all there lives the epiphany of Spring and an invincible Summer. Its hard to be ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change. But it does. The big moments, the unexpected and the inevitable end are always going to happen. We can’t help that. Let these moments help us survivors find out who we are and plan how we are going to press forward.
Lets use this Facebook tool and be there for each other and lets remember; Nothing replaces the real thing. Make a surprise “phone call” to someone who you love, maybe text someone you would like to know better, invite someone over for dinner, go out and get a cup of coffee and mingle with your community, help someone less fortunate, support the arts, dance, laugh, smile. Touch.
Coming together is a beginning. Keeping it together is progress.
Working together is success.
Alone time may have its place but lets be real “usually it sucks” and too much of anything is usually poison..
I know you know what I am feeling here. Hell, I feel little and overwhelmed most of my waking hours. I am not sure of much in these troubled waters as I push against the main stream but this much screams true. I know your out there.

I guess what I am trying to say is “Together we can do so much“.

What is the meaning of “grow up?” Isn’t growing good?
You know the old saying: “One should never stop learning”. Well that said- for many of us, the choice to follow your passion is replaced by a need to feed your family or pay off a debt that may or may not consume your time here on earth.
Just like anything else though, sometimes a choice will not wait for you to decide but instead moves forward with you in tow. That can prove dangerous or “sad” because you may end up somewhere down the road in bad condition. Not knowing the true mechanics of how or why you got there.At which point, battered beaten and bruised you still have to “grow up” but now your stuck in the decay of a past that is unresolved. One where your passions have been covered in the soil of your soul.
Now in some cases the choice is: Live or Die. I mean if you have children or an illness what do you do then? How do you spend your time? Is money going to solve the problem? Maybe, I suppose, some of them. So I don’t know what is right or wrong and I believe that the saying “grow up” is too simple of a conclusion.
For me: Personally, I don’t really want to judge anyone, that seems to simple too.
WE all have different stories to tell.
I can only speak for myself and I am most certainly still growing up.
As a matter a fact- I’m still just a baby monster.

This is to you. My friends whom I have been trying to reach out and remind that they have a crazy friend who just won’t quit fighting for an impossible dream. Its Saturday 09/01/12 and I wanted to be in the desert today but I’m not. I’m in Minnesota. But that’s OK. I achieved a lot in the last year. The 1st part was waking up from my long sleep. In November of 2011 I had an epiphany and decided to reignite my dream full force without excuses. I had very little to work with but a few weary Twin City veterans, a friend from Kansas City and a exploding volcano of personal debt. I wasn’t sure if my friends would buy into it but I was going to return to the highways regardless. I made this statement from this chair to this computer in December 2011 and here I am 9 months later preparing for my 4th tour in 2012. I might not be going to Burning Man but I am going to the desert in two months- on my terms with a caravan of friends and allies called The Revolution Circus. It hasn’t been easy and the future is still uncertain- but we’re still here and this time I am bringing a caravan with APOX! So I guess I will see some of you soon. I miss you. Expect us… to be hungry.

I had a friend, actually several friends share with me how financially fucked they were and how hard it was to chase the so called whims of fancy thought.  Financially fucked is always a reality. Unless you have a source of cash flow that is close 6 figures in storage the piggy bank will probably/eventually go feral. Even when times are good it can take a high level of time & sacrifice to maintain a stable 5 figure environment. I’m not sure about anything these days but I feel it is the prison we have been taught to believe in that kills our spirit. It is the game we are engineered to play. We earn our stripes as we rise in the ranks of society. We win access to new levels, more weapons, better wheels, toys & trophies….
On the flip side of the coin is the wrong side of the tracks. Loose change does not come easy and when we rebel and embrace change we bring a lot of the game with us down them alternate paths.There is no easy escape. The game is a part of us now. It is everywhere inside and out and it can be insidious.
Some people plan forever to make the journey to whatever form of nirvana they have defined as the goal post only to find the road has been closed, is under construction or demolished. Then they find all the resources they have gathered suddenly outdated and that vacation/getaway is not going to happen. Not this year anyway.  Maybe next time. Some people find that building up a strategy in the game with a plan fuels the hunger to win the game but it appears they become something/someone else in the process or even worse remain wide awake as they realize their mistakes and the walls close in. Ugh. Trapped on garbage island and “I think there’s something moving down under the water”..

There is a saying: “Seize the Moment” and I almost understand its origins. Almost.
There is no perfect moment to chase a dream or pursue the love of a lifetime. “Now is the only time that is real”

As the windows to the our souls
fight to remain ajar, hoping to bear witness to epiphanies that flutter by like insect angels, we wait knowing that epiphanies only remain visible in purity for hours,days and in most legendary tales of victory and happy endings, minutes and seconds. (breathe)
Its true. I think.
When that crossroad moment happens; it does not seem to come with an instruction manual and sleeping on it, waiting for the make everyone happy scenario usually means leaving that possibility behind.
I don’t know. Circles. That is the road we are usually on.
Another frightening saying: “Follow your heart” is so simple yet so hard to believe. It gets relegated to some hybrid childhood status and dismissed. How many of us have read or seen some form of art or witnessed a reminder in nature and felt it in the roots of long lost spiritual hunger in your emotional core. How many times have you been almost ashamed of trapped tears and smiles that hurt or explosive laughter? Do you blink or stop breathing for a fleeting moment as you try to extinguish the voice of your inner child? Do you spend resources in the game of life monopoly to distract yourself from a truth that scares you. Maybe you settled for something you don’t love, maybe you settled and grew roots…maybe your angry.
If you are still with me right now, we are probably on the same page.
Confused. Afraid. Lying to ourselves.
So as the few of us rebels & dreamers…broken misfits, dregs and flotsam wonder if we should take the less traveled paths in life and explore unconventional possibilities we pause and look for signs and instructions. Some of us will find signs and decipher them as maps to the human heart and others will see omens…Be it positive or negative metaphors the signs we seem to find usually lead us in circles…But once in a while with the strength of freewill they take us across the tracks and into the wilderness away from comfort and security where the truth hurts and you can’t run away from it. I suppose that’s the point in curiosity. Its up to us to choose and find out for ourselves.

Simply put, it is an uncertain path that requires a leap of faith and even if we escape our typical orbits , gravity may bring us back to the status quo in flames so I can’t blame anyone for choosing not to chase the rainbow because I have had my doubts many times. I have made that jump and fell into the hell of failure & heartfelt loss again and again.

So fucking don’t follow me, but feel free to help me. Who knows, I may have something to share. My failures are a becoming a crude road-map because my adventures were not pure failures. I learned where many of the traps and pitfalls usually lie waiting like emotional landmines and speed traps.
Even now many of us, you and me are wavering. I find strength in knowing that I am not alone in this struggle. Be it together or apart.
With that confession said: I still hear the melodic whispers of the tribe. They are singing songs heralding the storms that lie ahead. I have made my choice. “I’m going to see this through.”
“yeah” I could use help. Teamwork seems to be the key. But if it must be: A solo-man I will be  “Come what may.”

How does one begin a story. “Hmmmm. With a big bang? No that won’t work. Oh. I remember now…

It was a dark and stormy night.
Not the kind with tumultuous clouds, flashes of light & thunder. The other kind. Ominous & quiet, hiding under the surface. Yeah. It wasn’t very long ago. I can still smell the memory of that day as it waited for the sun to set. I was in Lawrence Kansas and because of half-truth I was late for the parade.
It was June 16th 2012.

Dangerous angels we may seem. Our curious savage hearts beating to a battle march,
hungry for the struggle. Starving for the feeling of being alive and not waiting for time to pass us by.

The previous night in Kansas had cast a dark spell upon our caravan (chaos, police, screams, tears and harsh reality) and in the aftermath we were a man or more down, spirits were frayed & I knew I had to focus on the task at hand without letting the madness destroy the fort. It wasn’t about being right or wrong. Those are old guides we use to navigate the dark & stormy waters and they almost never get us there. No. Half truth is not about right and wrong, maybe its more about survival. I’m not sure. It felt familiar. The fork in the road. The wrong turn. The anomaly.
The cracks had begun to form.

There were illusions of brotherhood that trespass common sense and accusations pointing with spindly fingers like the aliens in a cinematic body snatcher sequel. I had crossed into comic book gangland and my refusal to blindly love anything or anyone was subject to question and fates way of creating a distraction so the real problem would finish its work and eat us alive.
“Guilty as charged” I whispered to myself. I don’t believe in that. I will always evolve.This is not a gang. So I turned the page knowing what was about to happen. Nothing is that simple and innocence always loses.

I didn’t make those rules. So please please, don’t kill the messenger.

I could feel the familiar story surrounding me. 1995. 1999. 2003. Yet, I still don’t have the answers. Its always a little different. If I step in to act as if I am a ring leader, I only server to accelerate demise and if I  do nothing or play passive aggressive the death march lingers until the beginning of the end is lost in translation. When the problems are lost in distractions you inevitably repeat your mistakes and you lose. What is it, that I fucking keep doing wrong?   Yoda would warn us ” The same destiny forward and backward take you, bad this is yessss”

Just like you and me, there are other tribes who seem so similar but are so different, so strange on the eyes and ears…They seem like the sacred unicorns, flying fire-birds, warrior felines, reptilian astronauts and singing mermaids of legends past. they haunt my dreams like ghost in the machine in a sweet but mysterious way. 

So here I am. Burning inside. With one shining moment to remind me why despite all the reality show drama & all the reruns of life going down the same ole yellow brick road to a false god, Lawrence Kansas was magical. As the phantom tendrils of apathy spread out like sad wings of destiny we exploded on the stage in Lawrence @ The Jazzhaus and The Revolution Circus delivered a stellar performance leaving a mark in the souls of the many who witnessed us. We left a sweet deep & beautiful scar and to this day. A moment that still ripples in time.

“ I got to dance with the Queen of the Circus” he said  but I’m ahead of myself.
You see, that is what the unlikely attendee who had paid to enter the show said from the front of the stage during our circus encore & in a loud strong voice given me his rank and file with a full salute. He was an older gentleman with weathered clothing and dirty shoes.(I recalled seeing him from a distance earlier on the streets of Lawrence in an alley near his cardboard house shanty.)  “Probably a Vietnam vet”  I thought to myself and noticed he noticed us. I nodded and smiled..
Yeah, there I was, mid-song, while clumsily waving a pirate flag, shaking hands with a stranger in a strange land, followed by American dollars being place in my hand as he said in a loud strong voice that cut through the hard rock music ” I believe in you in sir! ”
I wanted to say that he did not have to give me his loot from a day of busking on the streets but I knew that would hurt his feelings and was not proper. Then he took the pirate flag and flew it proud across the dance floor and was joined by Apocalypse Theatre singer Mad Kat Morgan “The Queen of the Circus”  and they began dancing in the crowd. He would later tell us it was worth paying to see us and donating to our cause, plus he added  “ I got to dance with the Queen of the Circus”.

When I close my eyes I remember that moment when he was dancing with the Queen of
the Circus. I recall his beaming smile. He was happy. He knew he wasn’t alone. He was my angel and I remembered that there really is a Santa Clause and he is not a bringer of gifts to everyone no matter what they do or say. Santa is not a happy ending for everyone no matter their actions because he will punish those who don’t respect the dream with rejection and to those who sometimes lose faith as they stand alone and scared in the heat of battle:  Never fear, you never know…Santa just might appear with a smile & a little sparkle of enlightenment. because he is us, you and me.

“I won’t let you down soldier.
I promise.”  ~mercy

There is a peace I do not grasp, a calm before the storm in the smiles & scribes that you & your kindred share. very unique and intense. almost breathtaking and cool to touch. like an autumn breeze and the falling leaves. like rainbows in the fading light. i do not know your gods and goddesses. nor do i know your heroes and saviors. i only know that we are not alone. i know your out there. and right now…this is how i feel about you and yours.