Last night I played a show in Joplin MO after a string of lucrative, familiar and excessive shows in various awesome venues. But on Tuesday March 27 we were playing Joplin Missouri’s underground.  A city that still bore deep scars from an F5 tornado hit last year.
I had warned the crew that I was not sure what to expect because contact with the promoter was spotty and I didn’t really know what kind of underground venue it was. Maybe a basement in a house or a living room. A lot of questions followed and I said “I really don’t know. I booked this because I wanted adventure and surprise, because the promoter caught my attention and why not. Its a Tuesday & we have no where else to go.”
I was actually nervous.
I don’t know why. I have played 1000s of shows. Once upon a time ago basement shows peppered our trail of endless days,weeks and months. But that was before our APOX storm of change and loss and some of these Apox crew were new. So I was nervous as we drove down Main Street past the atomic blast F5 area of foundations and damaged structures (We were mostly silent… Paying our respects to the 100+ who lost lives in the F5 storm) and then we drove into the surviving part of the city towards The Cesspool Castle.
Upon arriving @ our destination I saw a half dozen punks and Joplin kids sitting on the edge of a stone wall about 5 feet high. A wall that was also a foot or more thick and connected to a very large stone 3 story house ( bldg?) that just simply stood out from all the rest of the houses in the area. It looked like a castle, like a stone fortress that could take on an F5.

The crowd was as curious about us as we were about them and after me & some of APOX engaged them with smiles & light conversation they pointed us the way to the dungeon. It was a large dungeon, two maybe 3 times bigger than some venues we have performed in. It was wall to wall covered in DIY soundproofing & graffiti posters and the stage was framed thick with Christmas lights. A full PA and a band were already onstage preparing to play as it was a little past 6 and it was an early stage. Someone told us where the bathrooms were ” up them long stairs and in the kitchen. Don’t let out the cats & kittens, and there is food on the stove and cake in the fridge. ( It was delicious)

To make a long story short. The first bands were fun and quite good. The crowd grew a little by the time  we played and they all entered the dungeon to see what we were all about. I shook off my nerves and we did what we do thinking they would leave after a few minutes, realizing we were not the music they really get into.
                                                                      I was wrong.
What followed next was appreciation and when we finished our set they all walked up to us and wanted conversation, to talk to us about Joplin bands and music. They showered us with love and energy. They bought enough merchandise to more than pay for our daily expenses. Thank you thank you they repeated as the tears welled up in me. Just as they are welling up again now while I’m typing. “No, thank you, we said”

They hugged us and they asked us to return. Some of them wanted to maybe some day join our little revolution circus.
It was only 10:00 pm when we walked towards our vans to drive away to meet friends in another city, when a chorus of wolf cries from the steps and walls of this underground fortress began to sing to us. Mercury & Kat turned around and returned the wolf cries followed by the rest of APOX. The streets echoed with the sound of young and old & in-between howling at the moon like  a tribe of misfits who know another storm is coming and recognize kindred. We need each other to survive.

Then it happened.
One tear finally burst free, and as it ran down my cheek, I let out one last wolf cry.

This is why I still fight for this. This is why APOX is still here.
For Dorothy…for Joplin… 

Photo Credit: nebojsa mladjenovic via Compfight

It was so nice outside (record breaking heat in Minnesota and its still winter!) and CAUSE had a good sound system with great acoustics and a sound tek who knows his shite.. At one point I stepped offstage to listen & I was stunned. I was like ” huh? we actually sound like that?!” (Nice to know.) The best part though was the atmosphere inside the venue.  a lot of good times were being had.
Dear person whom I said to “I will find you and talklater after packing gear” I looked for you and I couldn’t find you. Albeit, it was dark and I had my prescription sunglasses on (for the cool sunglasses @ night look) so that might have hindered my search. but “Sorry! I’m not stuck up. A little shy though.”
So 1st up was fic.she and in her words she was “the warm blanket” of ethereal & electro that left you happy & content but unprepared for our onslaught but even so, after our manic schizophrenic shaking we also left you ill prepared for Rapedoor’s subsequent pummeling.
So thank you CAUSE! Your venue is in our base-camp’s hood (walking/biking distance) and although we don’t play local much or stripped down with no theatre, we want to do it more now! We hope you will have us back.
OK. Now its time to begin the transformation from my scaled down industrial band  Mercykill to the road warrior troupe Apocalypse Theatre . The troops begin to arrive from afar on St. Patricks Day and then we hit the road. 1st stop on The Revolution Circus. Kansas City here we come!

Today I let something get to me.
So here is a history lesson for the thumpers;
The bible is a collection of stories passed on and on and on and on from before the bible was called the bible and in other dialects and then shared/absorbed/changed by many religions & mythologies, many of which predate the bible. There is just as much evidence that aliens from space were the gods & goddesses of these stories than an invisible man from beyond and a zombie messiah who said some neat stuff that most of you die hard thumpers don’t listen to anyway.
Now you may call my bible critique a symptom of a trendy left wing bandwagon and I’m betting you do. Your type usually subscribe to such trendy packaged corporate news  conspiracies. Well, by the way…religion is trendy too. They practically invented the idea of trends. The difference is, people die when religion ( and politics) go viral. They burn @ the stake or find themselves imprisoned or nailed to a cross, beheaded. Usually the enforcement mob of god fearing sheep are pawns of a puppet master who just wants all of the pie and pretends to be your warrior. Your hunger to follow frightens me. But it does not silence me. So, I will always call people out regardless of right or left wing religions/politics on their bullshit. When they start trying to tell us/me who to be & how to live.

“I for one will not be silent”.

Count on that. I will fight you.

I happen to love and respect the diversity life and I am not threatened by alternative lifestyles. So as long as they do not threaten or ridicule me, I agree with open arms to live in peace side by side and will seek ways to make life better for all of us. Even when some cultures seem unusual to me, I will make it a point to learn more and to try to understand different points of view. (The beauty of the internet is that its easier now to learn about different cultures and ask questions online. Its those little moments of free time when I Google this and Google that.) Hell, I’m not perfect and sometimes I will open my mouth or draw my pen like a sword and say/write things I regret. Please. Call me out on it. Maybe your right. Maybe I’m wrong. Whatever. I’m sorry. “Maybe we should debate about stuff over a cup of coffee? And then hug or shake hands, maybe we can be friends.”
Lets live & learn. Grow. Change.
I also respect & admire many religious minded people who practice love & make it their mission to help those who can’t help themselves. I don’t make up excuses and throw insults to further depress the refugees of life who are struggling or sick or ill prepared for troubled times. I ‘m sick of the so-called faithful with bullhorns, websites and TV shows that spin & spit hateful words because they are afraid.

So this Mercy babble of mine is aimed @ the crap many close minded & self righteous people spew that says gays are unnatural/evil and @ those evangelicals who say making more money than you need while folks are suffering is divinity calling or that war is OK if its in the name of god or that the death penalty is okeedokee when you say so or that woman don’t have choices regarding their own body cause god says this and god says that and its in a book so it must be true or you burn in hell and blahblahblah-yaddayaddayadda That slop is for the pigs.

Soooooo,  !@#! off.

Download Slaughterhouse 2012

Download Codename:Bunny

Download Freakshow 2012

Download The Spike 2012

Download The Desert Song

Sometimes every sound and every moment of silence reverberate to the point of mental sonic booms. I blink and “FLASH!” its like I’m blacking out. I keep my eyes open resisting the inevitable blink and they burn and sting in a zombie glaze. Don’t get me wrong, I usually like when a day starts out off center but this time its a little unnerving. I will turn it around.

I have so much to do, and I’m so tired. Already I have been awake for hours working on this: whatever this is. Most of the time it seems the majority of the folks I reach out to think I’m a raving lunatic. Its a little rough on the spirit. Sometimes, all I really want is to be in a small town far away from here on the southwest edge of the USA. A place where I enjoy my morning cup of coffee while watching life and writing music and stories. A place where I share conversation with friends and talk about possibilities, philosophy before maybe doing hours of work helping someone in need or building stuff or maybe just preparing an awesome meal for friends and family followed by a bonfire, spirits and songs. Sounds awesome. Yeah, sometimes I long for an actual home. But Its all good. I have to keep pushing myself, so that I can have a version of that one day with you. That’s what the voices that cut through the noise whisper to me. “Don’t give up. This is not just about the music.”  yup…My lot in life is to keep trying, no matter how long it takes or impossible it feels…To keep fighting to build something bigger than me so I can share it with you. Even if you think I’m crazy.

Anyway, those are some downloads @ the top of this post. Some heavy rocking industrial tunes ( one features Mad Kat screaming), a quirky freakshow carnival number and my desert song. Enjoy.

There you are. I thought I lost you.
Anyway, I was thinking.I just know we can do this. Together. Try not waste too much time on the many little things that distract you, me, us from our true love. Its hard, I know, I’m fighting the blues, drowning in debt, and pushing back at the restrictions imposed by routines. Its hard to rewrite the programming. But we have to do something, life is fast and well, maybe this will work. Maybe if we work together, if we do it all @ once. You, me, us….So that we may erase the fear, inspire the huddled masses & soothe the refugees of our modern age. Even if just for a moment of respite. A moment to remember the joy of dreaming. yes, I know You, me, we have heard all this before, but what is the alternative? Should we accept defeat and stop trying?

Are you still there? Cool. Lets start now.

 
Photo Credit: Pablo Fernández via Compfight

THE REVOLUTION CIRCUS MARCH & APRIL

3/14/12 Minneapolis @ CAUSE
3/23/Kansas City MO @ Davies.
3/24 Topeka KS @ The Boobie Trap
3/25 Wichita KS @ Kirby’s.
3/26 St. Louis MO @ Rapture
3/27 Joplin MO @ Cesspool.
3/28 Dallas TX @ The Fallout.
3/29 San Antonio TX @ Night Rockers.
3/30 Austin TX @ Headhunters
3/31 Tulsa OK @ The Crystal Pistol

4/5/12 Minneapolis MN @ Club Underground.
4/6 Eau Claire WI @ The House of Rock
4/7 Chicago IL @ The Horseshoe.

There are 6-7 wars & revolutions going on right now. There are dozens of regional revolts & insurgencies aimed @ smaller targets such as chemical plants & oil refineries in 3rd world countries. There are thrice as many movements driven by need, economics, religion, survival & greed growing that could evolve towards violent confrontations in the undergrounds of many countries including Russia, China & even the USA. There are independent groups seeking anarchy through computer methods and a new handful of nations & possible ideological groups with monetary backing developing weapons of mass destruction. There are approximately 300 multi-billionaires who are playing a massive game of monopoly and a few dozen growing private armies under the guise of corporate security. “meanwhile” Science is unraveling the secret cells age  and the mechanics of the brain. Transistors will soon be the size of a cell & eventually in a few years (or less) processors will be molecular with cloud software running thats instructs self replication, medical therapy, and larger constructs. This combined with the ability to generate power from its environment (like the human body) will open up a frontier of cybernetics and brain enhancing possibilities. These are all factual statements. Each one has variables, and changes minute to hour, day to month…. But this is the now and its either scary or exciting. So don’t be afraid just be aware. Stay Awake. The pages are turning.

Its gonna be OK. Most of us will get pass this future shock because although progress is speeding up towards a spike, its still within our ability to understand. ( post spike is another animal)

Anyway, do not ignore the writing on the wall, or shut down because its overwhelming. Not now. We can stand together and make the hard choices together. We can make a difference. We just need to recognize the day to day illusion and break out of it.

Oh & by the way…Apocalypse Theatre is coming to you and while we are in town we are going to celebrate survival and have a fucking good time!

Stay tuned for the detailed announcements regarding our travel plans.

Photo Credit: Dr. Strangelove via Compfight

Humble opinion and rant ALERT:
Spirituality and religion are kinda different animals. I consider myself spiritual, but not because of any supreme force. The written & organized stuff folks calls morality and religion these days is not worth jack and valid points mixed with with crap make the good stuff akin to poison & a hypno-wheel. Yet, Zeus be damned, folks will cling out of ignorance, fear, hunger…and hell, its practically genetic.
I read some research that hypothesizes (with some super powerful computer microscope lab stats) that some memories (originally thought not to be) may be inherited  as if imprinted over time, like ghosts in the machine. I guess… Kinda like monkey talk, birds migrating, kitties hunting.. Probably more complicated than that. Whatever. I don’t know. I’m no biologist, but snippets regarding principals of microbial evolution, DNA & behavioral patterns of plants and animals. (and virus’s too) seem to swim around like protozoan bubbles of thought in my cluttered mind during those pondering moments when I’m not doing something else. Hmmmm.

• “Maybe we are leftover ancient astronaut trash or a plague on the planet or like a bad joke- slaves to The Matrix. Who fucking knows?!”

All I know is right now, right here, people I love are in danger of a future that creeps and crawls towards some new chapter in human history and the same is true for people I don’t know who right now are hiding from falling bombs constructed by corporate empires with our blood sweat and tears to rain on our frightened kindred who are starving to death while feeding their children scraps & bugs and roots of weeds. All because of faith, money, power & greed. Oh & stubborn fucking ignorance. Like it or not. We are all the same. Blood & Guts and brainwaves. We are connected, and this madness will spread. It is spreading. At this point, I think its supposed to. But that is another humble opinion.
So while we hide behind ideologies and draw stupid lines and complain from paper, glass and binary houses. Some stand alone, outnumbered with the few voices & warriors trying to make some noise in a sea of screams, machines, babble and chatter while taking care of those around them”.

“Those are my heroes”

Who am i? No one really. I’m on your side. Even if you don’t agree with me. I know we have common ground and together we can stand against it all. Because on one side they embrace us, our loved ones/friends and our tribes with cautious eyes and a humble opinions and on the other side they just want me to go away and some factions & ideologies even want us dead so we can burn in hell. Its almost funny. But then I remember, that side really believes in the metaphorical hell, a place where you die infinitely in agony. There isn’t even Wi Fi access!

I know I am lucky to have been born in America but I know it doesn’t mean I’m special and America is pretty fucked up in its own special style.
I am here, you are there. We are together.

“The desire to disbelieve deepens as the scale of the threat grows”

I always try and look @ the bright side but I don’t want to ignore the obvious either. I remember when the popular opinion/debates around the concept of safe nuclear energy were more prevalent. Most of us progressives, hippies, punks & anarchist types were like “WHAT! are you nuts!?” I mean I suppose it has positives. But really? In my memory we have had several meltdowns and many other close calls. How many times before its deemed a bad idea? And do we really need to power everything worldwide nonstop until we are all out of everything to burn but heavy metal atoms?

On another but similar note; I find it amazing that many others take it for granted that our chemistry and physics skills can produce so much in our lives that we trust with our lives but when it comes to applying those same skills to the climate then the scientists are 100% wrong. So on quick inspection using google it seems virtually all studies that shed doubt on climate change were funded by oil companies or right wing think tanks or shadowy nicely titled groups with no real sources. Look it up yourself. I’m just venting. I mean a good debate is healthy but this denial-ism doesn’t feel like a debate. It really doesn’t.

But I will share what I have heard, seen, experienced, researched; Rising seas have washed away shorelines, graveyards, saltwater has invaded wells, islanders desperately seek aid to build seawalls, oceans are turning more acidic & the Arctic is warming twice as fast as the rest of the world. Most studies have the summer polar ice caps vanishing by 2040. That’s not very far away. Today’s young children will be in their 30s when the truth is painfully obvious.

“sigh”
It seems the culture wars have taken on a new dimension with the advent of Corporations having mouthpieces such as Fox News and others. Al Gore stated in his prize winning documentary “An Inconvenient Truth that “ferocity, in defense of false beliefs often increases as the evidence proving them false builds”. So in the face of years of scientific findings and growing impacts, the doubters not only persist they multiply. They ignore long-term trends and seize on year-to-year blips in data and use it to spread this hunger to pretend. They focus on minor mistakes in thousands of pages of peer-reviewed studies to claim all of it is wrong. It gets worse. Much worse. But that is not my point in this long winded entry.

The glass is half full or half empty. Pick a side, flip a coin, choose your bullshit. I’m trying to do my part but it is hard. Its hard to get by, its hard to stay focused, its hard to stay healthy…Its hard.

“Ninety-eight percent of the world’s climate scientists say it’s for real”

Look around. Right now everything is speeding up to some known/unknown conclusion. The critical mass is building. In some circles we call it the moment everything changes. The Spike. Its the nature of our awakening. Ever since we discovered our inner selves & recognized the value of fire & other tools . Ever since we gazed @ the stars and asked the questions we eventually crafted into religions & legends, theories & proven science, there was a vision of the future. I am going to call it “The Atlantis Syndrome” Some of you call it Revelation or reference the Mayan Calendar…2012. Whatever. Doomsday has always been around the corner but in a life form that usually looks inward we tend to overlook that the timeline is based on the human race and not on any one person and we have not been here very long. Recorded history fragments @ 7-10,000 years and ancient cites or societies with any strong imprint don’t even make the 20,000 year mark. Beyond that is primitive unless what we actually forgot was we have been here before. That’s another entry.

Just like a computer chip is becoming more powerful in quicker successions, everything is speeding up. The world is changing. America is changing. This is not the time to hide under the cover of safety. This is not the time to charge ahead and hope for the best. The machines are getting faster maybe even smarter. War is spreading and probably coming to America. The biological threats & bugs are getting more resistant & complex. Homelessness & famine continues to increase. Banks are failing. (A quick fix or a deep cut will not change the fact that they are broken.)

Global Warming is the perfect example of how most of us in America seem to see the world.In denial. Always pointing fingers at the positives as if they make it all better. There are positives. Most of you don’t see them because you can’t until you let go of this trap of convenience. The positives are in individuals fighting under the constant ridicule of others or actually going underground to prepare for the corporate takeover of America. We laugh but some of us pause and wonder…will i wait until its too late to survive…when the power grid fails or is too expensive will i have what it takes or even know someone who does to to help me help myself?

As the animals migrate to new homes and many face extinction. The many of us who don’t understand or worse…don’t care walk deeper into the trap.The desire to disbelieve deepens as the scale of the threat grows, but eventually it will be fucking obvious…

As in my prime example I use this quote that the inventor (1973) of the term Global Warming recently said: Eventually in the case of Global Warming…it’ll become damned clear that the Earth is warming and the warming beyond anything the earth has experienced in millions of years, and people will have to admit…”

(insert laughter)

“Well, I suppose they could say God is burning us up.”